Secret Pain
by LailaHamato
Summary: Laila's had to hide everything from her brothers for years-using a tough girl act to show it...what happens when she tells April everything she's ever had to hide, and everyone she didn't want to know about it overhears and finds out. No Laila/April romance. No t-cest in any way, shape or form. 2K14 universe.


Note: I apologize if any of the characters are OOC.

A soft "Bam!" echoed from the dojo as Laila karate-chopped at the practice dummy's neck, the head snapping off. Right when she was about to focus to be able to get the next one, yelling interrupted her focus. Sighing and shaking her head, letting her red and black highlighted bangs get in her face, she exited the dojo, closing the door behind her, as to not wake Splinter up, who was sleeping in the next room, obviously not bothered by the yelling. She went into the living room and noticed Raph chasing Mikey, while April watching like it was a tennis match. Laila, not noticing her other brothers, concluded that Leo was in his room meditating, and Donnie was in his lab working on some other invention. She got near the couch, watching Raph, rather amusingly, chasing Mikey around the living room.

"What'd he do this time?"

"Put oil on Raph's weapons." Laila sighed again, Mikey was just hoping for a death wish.

"Laila, help me!" Mikey hid behind Laila, using her as a shield if Raph lost his temper. She shook Mikey off her back and put a hand on Raph's arm.

"Calm down, _oniichan_..." She whispered something to him in Japanese and he grumbled.

"You got lucky, Mikey." Raph nearly stormed out of the room.

"Mikey, you have to stop pranking Raph? I can't be your shield forever; I won't be able to calm him down eventually."

"I'll get dinner ready!"

"Mikey-" He ran into the kitchen, and Laila rolled her shoulders, hearing them crack.

"I don't know how you do it."

"Sore wa dō iu kotodesu ka?"

"You always manage to keep this place from falling apart, and yet you haven't gone insane. I mean, you're the only girl, and the youngest, and yet you keep everyone glued together."

"Yeah, barely, at times I just want to scream, to let it out, but I can't…." Laila sat down next to her human- sister and leaned into the couch, sighing. "They think being the youngest is easy, but it isn't."

"They seem like they think it is." Laila hesitated. Could she tell April everything? They were best friends, even before Laila got mutated into a turtle. She continued, deciding she could keep her secret.

"I want them to. It's not easy when you're constantly under pressure, training to catch up to your brothers, trying to be strong enough to show you're not a pushover, it's tough." Laila closed her eyes, not noticing April's concerned gaze on her.

"Why can't you just tell them-?"

"And have them try to deal with my burden, I'd rather do it myself…I wish I could say something though, just let it all out, but I can't."

"Shimai….."

"I'm the one who, pretty much, keeps this family together. It's like being a link in a chain. The middle one breaks, the whole chain falls apart. It sucks, constantly fighting the Shredder, getting away from the Foot…being alone when you always have to fake a smile so nobody asks." April put a concerned hand on Laila's shoulder.

"Laila, just tell someone, they'll understand."

"I've tried. Nobody understands, my brothers would just say I was complaining for no reason, or being "whiny" as Mikey called it, and they teased me. Splinter doesn't get me either, so don't even bother saying that I could go to him. He always sided with my brothers, so I just learned to suck it up and hide it. Besides, if I do let it all out finally, I don't want the same thing happening again…" They both knew what Laila was talking about. They were kids, playing Tag, when Laila accidently pushed April and their father got mad, beating Laila that night. That was 15 years ago.

"You mean, when father…"

"Disowned me and nearly killed me, yes…"

"Nani anata no kyōdai wa dōdesu ka? Karera wa koko ni anata no tame ni shite iru, anata ga shitte iru."

"I know April, I can't go to them though. If I can barely show any emotions, how am I expected to tell my brothers about this."

"You're always acting so tough, maybe-"

"I have to April, especially during a battle. I got enough to deal with, the last thing I need is my brothers getting worried about me. All I want is to show them that I can perfectly handle myself just fine. I'm sick of being blamed by Splinter whenever they get injured because I couldn't keep them "under control." Laila clenched her fist so tight, her knuckles were starting to turn white.

"Is that why you're so tired a lot?" Laila coughed, embarrassed.

"You've noticed?"

"Yeah." They sat there in a comfortable silence, before it was broken.

"Laila?

"Hmm?"

"How long have you, you know, felt like this?"

"Oh god, um…pretty much since I've been with my bros, so a really long time….Still, you have no idea how good this feels, finally being able to tell somebody about all this."

"Watashi wa anata ga hanashi o suru tame ni hitsuyōna iu koto ga dekiru."

"How did you…? It was never that obvious."

"I can tell." April gave Laila a hug, which the turtle returned, before they let go and went back to April's apartment.

Mikey and Don were shocked, sadness, guilt and shock in their eyes. Don leaned against the table while Mikey grabbed some chips out of the cupboard.

"Dude…" Mikey's voice was wavering.

"How the shell didn't we notice? All those years we've been around Laila, but still…."

"We gotta talk to her when she gets back."

"Yeah."

"I feel like such a bastard."

"You're not the only one Mikey."

Leo's eyes were widened as he leaned against the door of the dojo. He couldn't believe he didn't notice, her pain, fake smiles, all those time she hurt when they would tease her as kids. Leo never knew what she was going through. He just sighed, and started doing a kata, hoping to get answers when Laila returned.

"Laila….I'm sorry I never noticed.." He mumbled to himself, finishing the kata.

Raph growled and punched his punching bag hard, not caring if he hurt his knuckles. He was Laila's best friend, her brother. He sighed as he remembered how he used to always tease Laila. His eyes filled with pain at the thought of Laila, scared and with nobody to turn to. He was the worst at picking on her when they were kids, yet she never talked back. Shell, Laila forgave him. He knew Laila never talked back to any of her brothers, despite the fact she wanted to, so much.

"Aw, shell, Imōto…why didn't you say anything?"

Laila yawned as she returned from April's apartment after staying for a movie, and helping her prepare for her date with Vern tomorrow night. She was surprised to see her brothers there.

"Uh, hey guys."

"We need to talk."

"Sure. What did I do this time?"

"Nothing, we heard.." Laila's eyes widened and she could've sworn her skin was gonna turn white.

"You guys were eavesdropping on me and April?!"

"No, we just happened to be nearby when you were talking with her."

"Same thing!" Laila was now even more agitated. "Just say what you gotta say."

"How much did you guys hear, anyways?"

"When April said, I don't know how you do it."

"Dammit." Laila grumbled. "So you guys heard the whole thing, well it's all true, there, happy? We'll discuss anything else in the morning." She walked past her brothers and into her room, falling asleep. She knew she'd have a lot of explaining to do, might as well enjoy the peace.


End file.
